Choosing to place your child for adoption is an extremely personal choice. Whichever way you go, you will have people who support your decision and you will have people who do not. When trying to decide if adoption is best for your child, we recommend doing the following:
Think about your "why."
Make a list of the reasons you might want to choose adoption. Writing out your thoughts allows you to see the words on paper instead of just allowing them to float around in your head. It also helps you process your feelings.
Here are a few of the reasons some women choose adoption:
Not ready to parent
Want a two-parent home for their baby
Find a safe person to talk with.
Adoption is not a choice to make alone. You need a support system both during and after the decision-making process. It is a good idea to find people who you trust and know will be supportive of your choice. It can be hard to find someone who will support your choice to seek adoption. We recommend finding an advisor, counselor or mentor who has your best interest at heart. These people can be found in pregnancy centers, churches, community groups and agencies. A counselor at an adoption agency will be open and honest with you about the adoption process, and they will walk alongside you to make sure you have the support you need. They will also help you open up conversations with your family and friends who might not be supportive of your choice.
Make a dream list.
We recommend making a dream list for you and your child. Write out all the things you want in life and all the desires you have for your child. These are important and help give you clarity on the future, not just what is happening right now. The excitement or fear of having a baby can cause people to make rash choices that they regret. You have time to think and process what it is you specifically want and need during and after this pregnancy. No one can tell you if adoption is best for your child. It is a choice that you as the mother or father need to make. Adoption is not the selfish option; it is an extremely selfless option. You are placing your child above anything or anyone else, and that is selfless love and strength.
Special Delivery is here to support you no matter what your choice is. We want your voice to be heard, and we want what is best for your baby!
It is important to remember that placing your child for adoption is a permanent decision. It is a legal agreement between you and the family of your choice that allows them to raise and care for your child as if he or she had been born to them.
Understand Your Role After Adoption.
We typically follow an Open Adoption System, which keeps you involved in your child’s life to a degree with which you’re comfortable. We encourage both the birth parents and the adoptive parents to help exchange letters, pictures, videos, and gifts as your child is growing up. Some families even schedule video calls and in-person visits. We ensure that prospective adoptive families receive training in adoptive parenting, in which they will learn how to talk lovingly to their child about his/her birth family. Special Delivery commits to mediating this communication as necessary over the years.
We know how intimidating this decision can be. That’s why you shouldn’t have to face any side of the process alone — from overwhelming emotions to the particulars of the legal process. Contact us today. We’re here to help.